batteries. a single girls bff

A couple of years ago I told a close friend of mine “if I ever tell you I want to be in a relationship again smack me.” I was not being serious or maybe at the time I was. I was full of all kinds of different emotions when we had this conversation. Who really wants to be single for the rest of their life, especially in their thirties? Apparently, me!! And by saying this, I feel like the world listened, because I feel cursed, jinxed, whatever you want to call it. And why? Oh, you know just to prove a fucking point…like haha eat your words Heather!!!

Here I am, almost 36, and single. My toys and I have become great friends, BFF’s. In fact, I should probably add batteries to my shopping list. I have always been very independent. I am completely okay with being single, but sometimes the thought crosses my mind of “shit what if I live until I am 90”. That’s a shit ton of time to be alone and not in a relationship. So yeah in reality it would be nice to have that person to be able to snuggle up with at the end of the day, lay next to in bed, enjoy “streaming and chill” evenings, and of course have more than just my “BFF”.

So here I sit, asking myself, “did I jinx myself”? Or maybe I am just so independent I scare grown men away? Or the dating scene has just changed so much I do not know how to play the game? But dating should not be a game…but on a lighter funnier note I think my “prince charming” is just fucking lost, trying to navigate his way to me, but like me; north, east, south, and west are confusing as all hell and he needs landmarks instead…just follow the trail of toys!!!

Someday my prince will….nah, I just need to replace my batteries sooner than later.

crazy cat lady

You know what I love about myself? That no matter how dark things seem to be, no matter what negative twist is thrown at me, no matter what it is that enters into my bubble to bring me down I am always able to find that light, that humor, or the positive in every situation.

I have had some dark times in my life. I have had some moments that I would not want anyone to ever experience. I have had times that I thought I would never see the positive again, but here I am shining bright. Living life everyday with a beautiful smile on my face.

We all have choices. We are responsible for the decisions we make in life. These decisions take us down certain paths. We get to decide if we add the positivity or the negativity on these paths. I did not realize this when I was younger. I realized this when I was in my mid 20’s, more mature, and more focused on what was really important.

Then in the last few years so much happened. So many changes. Some dark. Some good. Some scary. But I remained positive. Focused. Sure, I had my dark depressed moments, but seriously who does not have those moments? If you say you have never had one of those moments, I am going to call bullshit! We are human. We are going to have our moments.

I feel ready for the next chapter in my life to start. But the dating world is just not going to happen. So, I have decided I am just going to become a crazy cat lady. Lol. But I promise my house will not smell like cat. I love Bath and Body Works way too much for a stinky house!! Lol. Wallflowers and candles everywhere to smother out the smell. Lol. Oh my goodness…I crack myself up.

We decide what path we walk along. Whether it is the path of happiness with green grass full of laughter and smiles or the path of darkness with tears and pain that haunts us for the decisions we made. Sometimes we decide to live a little bit of both. Devil on one shoulder, angel on the other. I have lived a life like this. I have learned so many lessons.

So, I can say I am not happy with everything I have done in my life, I have learned from them, I love who I have become, and I will for certain never become a crazy cat lady…if I do please send someone to rescue me!!! Lol. Thanks in advance!!

Sunshine and sparkles!! Put a smile on that beautiful face!!

 

 

will this fit?

Do you have one of those items, collectibles, something silly, but that you absolutely love and every time they have a new one you can not wait to purchase said new item? I am raising my hand, jumping up and down, and I am sure there is a giant neon flashing arrow above my head right now. I have a major problem when it comes to cups. You know shakers, mugs, water bottles, etc.… let’s not even count the amount that I have. My weakness is the different cups Dutch Bros sell. I have no room mind you to buy any more of these things and yet I do…no judging lol.

I often joke I need to join a Dutch Bros mug anonymous club, because it is a huge problem. But then when I look around to the people, I see every day, whether its family or friends, I realize I am not the only one with this problem.

Haha!! Yes! I am not the only one sitting here going where am I going to put this new thing? Nope it does not fit here, damn the cabinet will not close if I put it here, oh! Wait what about right here?, nope just kidding…but when I think about it, like really think about, having the issue of where the fuck is my new cup going to fit is not really that big of a deal, but maybe it is to some. Hell, the cup may have fallen and hit them on the head…lol…I know I know I am twisted. Oh well. At least I am true to me and still loved by someone out there, hehehe, maybe.

Now if that cup falls on me and its full of hot coffee or tea, fml. BUT, right now I really just need to decide where this new mug is going to fit after its done drying from its bath…