Christmas Kitties

If you have cats, I am sure you talk to them as much as they talk to you. And if you do not talk to your cats, are you truly a cat person?? Ummm sorry I think not. Every cat person talks to their cats…tell me I am wrong? Also, if you are a cat person you know as well as I know they personally think Christmas décor is put out for their pleasure nothing more. It is for them and them only. They do not think they have to listen to rules once Christmas vomits. You can lecture them all you want, but they will just give you attitude.

We all have Christmas décor we love to make sure is out on the shelves every year. Mine personally is my Christmas village. I enjoy setting up all the houses, trees, people, all the little things that make the village what it is, but my cats like turning into Kitty Godzilla’s. They tiptoe around the homes, shops, churches while smacking the people, trees, and vehicles off the shelves or over with their little paws. While they are doing this, they just smile…swinging their tails talking to me with their happy little meow’s “yes, mom we know this makes you angry, but you will still love us and still give us our treats later” …

Next is the Tree…oh Christmas Tree how I feel so sorry for you…it starts out so beautiful, so perfect. Then slowly over the first few weeks of December it gets trashed. It starts to look like look Cinderella’s ball gown after the evil step sisters destroy it. The best part is they tell on themselves. I always know which one it is. Summer starts to tell her story before I am even halfway down the stairs. Stella Rose hides under the tree refusing to look at me. Not only that Summer only takes the ribbon of the tree, not sure why but she loves to chew on the damn stuff. Stella Rose is obsessed with the ornaments.

Every year I move all my Knick knacky shit out of the way to make room for my Christmas stuff. Especially since the Christmas village takes up a lot of room. My daughters and I moved it all. But I decided not to put the village up this year…I did not want to deal with Kitty Godzilla’s destroying the village and the tree, just was not in the mood. So, the shelves were emptied. Christmas vomited. But the shelves are so bare without the village. I should have just dealt with Kitty Godzilla’s maybe I would not feel so Grinchy and want to move to Mount Crumpit…

Since I decided not to put out the damn village Summer decided to go Godzilla on the coffee bar. We have slowly been redoing the kitchen and the coffee bar got a few upgrades at the same time Christmas vomited in the house. So, the same night Summer went cray cray on the tree she decided she was going to really test the limits and play on the coffee bar. Amongst the ribbon all over the ground there sat coffee stir straws. This was the same day she decided to tell on herself before I was even halfway down the stairs. Once I was at the bottom of the stairs, she was already under the dining room table. I could not figure out why, but then I figured it out. I picked up a straw, looked in her direction, and what does she do?? Looks at me then turns her head away and down…fucking guilty. And later I found more under a closed door!! I did not see her the rest of the day.

It took me a few weeks to get Summer and Stella Rose to leave the damn tree alone. They now just sit under it and bat at the branches to test the waters. I have found a few ribbons under the tree since then, but nothing like that day. They have not touched anything on the shelves this season and I must admit it kinda makes me wish I did put some of the village out or at least part of it. They toss their mice towards the tree and I like to think this is their way of playing with the tree without getting into trouble.

I guess next year the village is getting set up and I am dealing with half empty shelves right now. If anyone has an idea on how to get to Mount Crumpit please let me know!!

Sunshine, Sparkles, and Mother fucking Unicorn Poop!!

One thought on “Christmas Kitties

  1. Oh my sweet, sweet daughter it’s been a long long time since I’ve read your bloggy thing! As I must admit sometimes your language is quite Foul using more F bombs then fishermen use when a monster gets away.
    I read this one about cats and Christmas trees thinking how bad could it be and it wasn’t until the very end there it was MFn unicorn poop!!!
    You almost made it without one Fbomb which shocked me, but then I realized what do I expect after all you are the daughter of a Sailor.❤️❤️❤️


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